An important lesson from an interesting source.

In Jewish Law a convert is considered a full fledged member of the community and is free to marry anyone of their choice. Nevertheless there are exceptions to this rule where restrictions apply. An example of this is the convert from the land of Moab - a nation who attacked and tortured the Jewish people when they left Egypt. As a result the Torah penalized this land by restricting the marriage options of their converts.

Another example is Egypt. Because of our long and bitter exile, an Egyptian convert is also limited in whom he can marry. Remarkably however, the Egyptian is not penalized as harshly as the Moabite. In the case of the Egyptian the restrictions are lifted after three generations. It seems very strange that a nation who persecuted us for two hundred and ten years is given leniency over one that attacked us once.

The sages explain this phenomenon using the concept of showing gratitude and appreciation. It is true that we suffered slavery at the hands of the Egyptians but it was still origanally a land that we ran to when there was a famine in the days of Jacob. True, during our stay we were used and abused (for which they were punished harshly) but we still have to express some level of appreciation for having been hosted by the Egyptians in the time of need.

We need to protect ourselves from the bad that people do. We don't have to befriend people who are insulting, controlling or even just annoying. But we still have to appreciate any good that we might have received from them on any level. Saying thank you does not mean we agree with them, nor is it an invitation for abuse. Showing appreciation only means that we are able to recognize that even in negativity there can be some good. Saying thank you is also important for our own growth as it trains us to be grateful and appreciative human beings.

There is always some good in any experience. We just need to learn to appreciate it

Back Back