One of the skills that are central to human function is the ability to communicate. Jewish sources define the human being as "the speaker". It is the fact that we can communicate that puts us in a separate class. Speaking and the ability to express ourselves adequately, is what distinguish us from the rest of the planet.

This is somewhat puzzling, as we know that animals too can communicate with each other. The Talmud tells us that King Solomon understood the language of the animal kingdom. Science has also confirmed that there is a form of communication that exists in the animal world. So why choose communication as the hallmark of humans?

There is a fundamental difference between human and animal communication. When animals communicate, they transmit signals. Animals issue status reports that identify the state of their world. They will broadcast signals that say "here I am" or "I am about to attack". Their communication is all about the communicator and nothing to do with the listener. The animal does not consider the world of the listener. The content and tone of the communication is not modified to be more effective, and the transmitted signal will not be sensitive to the needs and the feelings of other animals. The animal reports on its situation - the listener is irrelevant.

Human beings have the ability to go beyond transmitting signals. Humans can use communication to form relationships with other people. When we speak to others we possess the ability to enter their world, to understand them and to relate to their needs. The purpose of human expression is not to send status reports. The function of our communication is to be less absorbed in our own existence and relate more to the world of the listener. We express ourselves in a way that the other person feels that we have understood them, empathized with them and have been sensitive to how they feel.

But this takes effort. Have you ever been in with a group of people where one person talks incessantly, completely oblivious to his/her surroundings ignoring the response of those that are talking to? They are not talking to others - they are merely imposing their world on the group. We are all at risk of sometimes slipping away from human communication, into animal signal sending.

So let's take a step back and listen to ourselves. When we talk to other people do we understand them? Have we listened to them first so that we can relate to them and talk to their world? Are we just saying whatever is on our mind or are we making sure that we are properly understood? Are we venting or are we exploring ways for the message to be heard and effective? Are we sending signals or are we communicating? When we communicate we reveal the true soul of humanity.

Rabbi Michoel Gourarie

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