Question:
 
My relationship seems to be moving ahead. We certainly love each other, and we have from the start, but we do have major differences. All my friends say as long as you love each other, nothing else matters. When you find love, everything else falls into place. Well I have found love - is that enough?
 
Answer:
 
All you need to know about relationships you can learn from making model airplanes.
 
A common mistake when making a model airplane is to start by putting glue all over the parts. That just creates a mess. The wrong bits get stuck together, wings get stuck to the floor, windows stuck on your fingers. It only complicates things when you introduce the glue too early.
 
The way to build a model airplane is to first organise the parts. Make sure the pieces fit together and nothing is missing. Then gradually apply the glue, and join the various segments, piece by piece, until the structure starts to take shape.
 
The parts may not fit perfectly at first. You may have to shave off some rough edges, or bend some sections into shape before they click. Minor imperfections can be overlooked, a dollop of glue can fix them up. With a bit of work it all fits together.
 
But if you find that there are parts missing, or they simply don't fit together, then you don't have what it takes to make an airplane. You can't use glue to join mismatched pieces, and certainly not to replace missing parts. Don't even try, just look for a better model.
 
Your relationship is a model airplane. You and your partner are the pieces, and love is the glue that sticks you together. Without the binding power of love, two individuals could never become one. But the power of love, like glue, can get you into a sticky situation. It must be applied carefully, because it could stick just about anything together. You can love someone who is simply not for you.
 
Before opening our hearts, we must ensure we have the right pieces to build a relationship. The building blocks of a solid relationship are shared values and common purpose. Our priorities in life, beliefs and visions for the future must fit together. We can have different opinions, different tastes and different ways of expressing ourselves. As long as we can share those differences respectfully, we can become one. But if our values are not in sync, then we simply have different futures, we are not going in the same direction.
 
This all may sound pretty unromantic. Model airplanes are not exactly the stuff of poetry. But think what's better, romantic dating that gets sticky, or a sticking together for a lifetime of romance....

 

~ Rabbi Aron Moss

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