There was a great Talmudic sage called Raba who would often lecture on Jewish law. Before every presentation he would always tell a joke, causing the students to laugh, after which he would launch into a complex and analytical discourse.

The mystics teach that laughter creates a broader mind, which allows a person to absorb deeper and more complex intellectual ideas. Therefore Raba's practice was not just a clever public speaking strategy. The aim of his custom was to create stronger students who were able to engage with the deepest ideas.

This concept carries an important lesson. Central to every relationship is the ability to give and share. For the relationship to thrive everyone must give something. The teacher must continually share information. The parent must teach values and the husband/wife must give, help and share to demonstrate that their love is sincere.

But giving shouldn't happen in a vacuum. The reality of the person on the receiving end must become part of the equation. True giving is to be sensitive to the needs of the recipient and to give accordingly. It is the ability to structure or modify what we share to ensure that it is received and absorbed with maximum effectiveness.

Preparing a stimulating lesson is essential for academic instruction. But a real teacher will invest equal effort to instill in the student a willingness to learn and modify each lesson according to their different learning styles. As parents we all have absolute values and lessons we share with our children. But each child is different, with his/her unique personality. For our children to absorb those lessons they must be communicated differently to each one. Giving money to charity is one of the greatest Mitzvahs. Here again the Talmud teaches that charity is only truly great when in addition to giving money we preserve the dignity and feelings of the one in need.

Every time we give something we should take a moment to study the needs of the one we are giving to.

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