Authentic Happiness

Do you want to be happy? I am sure you do. And I am sure that if I walked down the street and asked ten strangers the same question they would also answer "yes". Searching for happiness is a very natural thing and yet it seems so hard to acquire.
Since 2002 psychologists have been comparing thousands of people from all over the world and getting an insight into: what is happiness; who is happy, and can anybody learn how to be happy?

Let us start with the last question first. Can anybody learn to be happy?
The answer is absolutely. Happiness is not something that just happens to a person like: you are walking along a street and suddenly you trip over something and hey, look what you found - happiness.
Happiness is not fixed by your genes. While your family's tendencies will be influential in how you feel, it is possible to work with those tendencies and even overcome them.
Happiness is an emotion that can be created and facilitated and kept alive once you know how. The Torah prescribes "Serve Hashem with joy" because it is possible for everyone to achieve.

What is happiness?
Most people associate the term happiness with extreme feelings like ecstasy, elation, excitement or bliss. This maybe one reason why it hard to feel happy all the time. Feelings like ecstasy are not felt often in one's life and are associated with rare events like marriage or the birth of a child.
The happiness that is attainable in one's life is something closer to contentment, enjoyment of everyday tasks, pleasure, or subjective well being.
One of the ways to assess your subjective feelings of well being is to rate yourself. No one else can tell if you are feeling good or how that should feel. It is your own inner experience of contentment. Ask yourself how are you feeling now? How often today have you felt sad or distressed? How often, this past week, have you felt miserable? You may surprise yourself that on a daily basis things feel quite good and it is less than 20% of the time that you feel your life is not enjoyable.
Just be changing your expectation of that happiness is you already realise that you are quite contented. Or maybe you realise that you have little pleasure in your life and want to change that. I am now going to teach you the secrets of happiness that are gleaned from Torah, a timeless resource now backed by current research.

Discard the American Dream
Research has shown that Western nations like the US and Australia have low levels of happiness. In fact, truth be told we are having an epidemic of depression. South American nations have high levels of subjective well being. One explanation of this is that the "American Dream" has turned out to be a nightmare. The pursuit of wealth has not benefited individuals but even worse has turned out to be pretty destructive for relationships, family life, everyday enjoyment and health. Money does not buy happiness. King Solomon in Proverbs tells us that: "No man dies with half his desires satisfied". Material acquisition brings short term pleasure that is quickly surpassed by the need to acquire more. So, what does bring contentment?

Relationships
Research has shown that having successful relationships is a major contributor to life's joy. For some people this comes easy but for others it requires effort. Investing time into improving relationship skills is very rewarding. The Torah way of life values marriage and family and family time and this is one of life's most meaningful and enduring pleasures.

Have meaning
The happiest people believe their life is purposeful. They see their work and behaviour as being more than getting through the day. When you believe that God created you with a divine mission then every day has meaning and everything you do makes a difference.

Cultivate gratitude
Looking at what you have rather than what you are lacking is the correct focus if you want to feel content. Begin everyday by saying "Modeh Ani" which means "Thank you Hashem for giving me another day to fulfil my mission" and you will start the day happy. When you say thank you for sunshine, and nature's beauty, and friends, and health and knowledge, you will feel blessed.

Live according to moral values
We all know when we are behaving correctly and when we are not - our inner moral compass tells us. When we do the right thing we feel wonderful and we do not we feel wretched and guilty. Choose to do the right thing.

Being happy on a daily basis is achievable, easy and within your reach. Grab it!

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