A woman complained to a marriage counselor that her husband never tells her that he loves her. The therapist turned to the husband for his perspective. "I told her thirty years ago that I love her," he explained "and If anything changes I will let her know."
In this week's Torah portion we read about a mitzvah called Bikkurim. In the land of Israel during Temple times every farmer would take the first fruits of a tree to Jerusalem and give it to the Kohen (priest) standing next to the altar. This Mitzvah was an expression of gratitude to G-d for the abundant produce and the opportunity to live in the land of Israel.
But in addition to handing the fruit to the Kohen, the farmer was obligated to make a verbal declaration. This statement was a short summary of Jewish history from the times of Jacob until the conquest of the land of Israel. The declaration emphasizes G-d's kindness and the miracles that affected our destiny.
While it is true that actions speak louder than words, there is an element of appreciation that is expressed more by our words than our deeds. Actions express dedication and commitment, but cannot convey warmth and emotion. When you give a gift to a friend to say thank you for a favor, a well written card strengthens the connection and generates more closeness than the gift itself.
As parents, spouses or friends it is not sufficient to just do things for the other person. Our love and care must be articulated with warmth and affection. We also cannot appreciate what is done for us in our hearts - we must express it with words of acknowledgement and thanks. Strong communication fuels the relationship and keeps the spark alive.
Make sure every day to tell those close to you how much you appreciate them.Set aside a few minutes to pray and thank G-d for all of His blessings. And to the that woman's husband, tell your wife that you love her. She knows it already, but she needs to hear it. She deserves to hear it.