R.E.L.A.T.E Part one cont. - AUDIT YOUR RELATIONSHIPS
by Rabbi Michoel Gourarie
So far: "Respect" exercise No 2. Reflect on and evaluate your style of communication to complete strangers. Is it respectful?
AUDIT YOUR RELATIONSHIPS
Previously we identified some key elements of respect. They include:
1) Paying attention to the other person's interests
2) Not being judgemental
3) Managing conflict respectfully
4) Never putting the other person down.
A respectful relationship needs constant maintenance. Over time we face the risk of slipping back into our default position which is sometimes less tolerant of other people's differences. We cannot take respect for granted. Even if we have a respectful personality we still need to conduct a "respect audit" every so often to ensure that we are on track.
"Respect" Exercise no 3
Choose one of your close/long term relationships:
a) Take a piece of paper and write down two or three significant differences between you and the other person (attitudes, habits, needs etc.)
b) Reflect on what you can learn from those things that you could not learn just from being who you are.
c) Record on paper how you think you can gain and grow from those differences.
d) Then take a few minutes just to reflect upon the last time that you actually related or showed interest in something that was not your interest. Maybe it is time to have a conversation or to get involved in something that helps the other person with their need or interest.
Make sure to check in every so often to ensure that your relationships are based on mutual respect.