R.E.L.A.T.E - Part 1 Continued - Defining Respect
by Rabbi Michoel Gourarie
But what exactly does respect mean? In different relationships "respect" is expressed in different ways.
But the essential definition of respect always means the same.
I respect and value the other person as an individual outside of, and different to me. I am therefore committed to preserving his/her individual identity. I will value, appreciate and try to understand his/her views, feelings, opinions, and perspectives even when they differ from mine and/or I disagree. I further understand he/she has needs that are different to mine and I pledge to respect and cater for them. I will try never to put down, humiliate or embarrass the other person or their views.
A key component of successful relationships is common goals and shared values. A healthy marriage is when husband and wife are on the same page with a common direction. Part of a parent's responsibility is to guide and educate children with the values they believe in and live with. We socialise with people with common interests. Burt every person is still different. Two individuals will express the very same values or aspire to the identical goals in very different ways. Recognising that is part of respect.
King Solomon said: Educate the child according to his way.
We might give all out our children the same value system but each one will absorb and express it in a unique individual away.
A relationship that is very loving but lacks these principles of respect will be one that is suffocating and smothering and ultimately deteriorate.
A great example of this next week.....