My Husband Never Gets Angry! ­ Article ­ BINA

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My Husband Never Gets Angry!

My Husband Never Gets Angry!

by Rabbi Aron Moss

Question:
I've had a question for a while now and no one has been able to give me a satisfying answer. I want to know why it sometimes seems that we depict G-d as a tantruming little child. For example, many times in the Torah it says that we should not say or do something that is forbidden since that will make G-d very angry. What am I supposed to make of that? How can I respect a G-d who is on the edge of blowing up if we don't follow what He says?

Answer:
Imagine being married to a man who never gets angry. Ever. About anything. You insult him and he shrugs. You are rude to him and he is nice back to you. You give attention to others and he isn't the least bit jealous.
 
Would that be a wonderful marriage?
 
Well, on one level, yes, it would be fantastic. No tension, no issues, no arguments or fights or silent treatment.
 
But in truth, it wouldn't be good at all. It wouldn't be a relationship. If he never gets upset at you, it means that you don't really matter to him. If nothing you do moves him, it means he doesn't care enough to be impacted by you.
 
Being in a relationship means affecting each other. For better or for worse, your heart is intertwined with someone else's. If you aren't getting a reaction, then you aren't connecting. You may be married, but you are really alone.
 
G-d created the world so He could have a relationship with us. He made a huge gamble, creating humans with free choice to do whatever we want, and He invested Himself in us, allowing Himself to be impacted by our actions.
 
So when the Torah says that G-d will get angry if we do wrong, that is the most beautiful statement of love. G-d is saying, "You matter to me. Your actions touch me. I have invested myself in you. This relationship is real."
 
We only get upset at people who matter to us. When your husband gets annoyed at you, take it as his way of saying you matter to him. You matter to G-d too.

J March 07, 2015 at 2:15 am #

I don’t have to imagine your answer……I am literally married to that man.

anand March 11, 2015 at 9:54 pm #

as a man who does not get angry with his wife even when she tries to invoke a reaction, I can say that this article is totally untrue! Everyone gets angry for a reason, eg. traffic, trying to repair something, or delays. It is just that some people can tolerate it much more than others. In my case I do not argue with my wife because i just would rather be doing something more constructive. usually these arguments can be resolved quickly with either an ok response or no. simple. and move on. there are other things to do. does not mean i do not love her. it means i want to avoid conflicts and making the matter worse. rabbi aron sorry but i disagree with you.

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